Ashi's Articles
GIFTS FROM LOVED ONES
One of my couple clients was expecting their first child soon. Having worked with them to transform their home into a more clutter-free environment, they had concerns about what to do with well-meaning family and friends who wanted to give them things for their baby (and to them) they didn't want. They love their family and friends but really wanted their home to be as clutter-free as possible. They asked for my help. Perhaps these ideas can help with your family and friends as well:
The act of gift giving is a way for people to be a part of your new baby's life and a way to support both of you. The challenge here is that their way of showing love doesn't match up with your desires. This is a great opportunity for you to be proactive and communicate now with loved ones. Set the stage for what you want to create in a way that is loving and inviting.
Remind them that you have felt overwhelmed with too much stuff in your home. You have worked very hard to streamline and simplify your lives in your desire to create a peaceful, clutter-free home with your new baby. Communicate that you are very grateful for their presence in your lives. Ask for their support, and if they choose to give gifts, provide them with ideas and ways in which they can participate. For instance, you might suggest:
- Gift cards for grocery stores and restaurants
- College fund contributions
- Gift cards for stores or catalogs that offer products you desire
- A list of specific items from particular stores that would support your new family.
- Give them the names of your favorite massage therapists so they can order gift certificates.
- Donate to a family vacation fund.
Above all, keep your hearts and your communication open so everyone can find a new level of harmony within your circle of family and friends.
FREEMANIA
I recently assisted my husband at his seminary's booth at a Denver event. Like many booths, there was a sign promoting a FREE giveaway item. It was fascinating to watch the river of people pass by the booth. A great percentage of people, of all ages, diverted from the main stream to quickly grab singles and sometimes multiples of the FREE item. Many of them simply tossed it in their shopping bag to join the rest of the FREE items that were gathered throughout the event. Some asked permission, some didn't. And a few expressed interest in the information the seminary was offering.
I suspect the fate of many of these treasures will linger about as clutter once they reach the homes of the attendees. They may even get moved about the house from room to room a few times before going in the trash.
I viewed it from an almost anthropological perspective wondering what it was about humans that caused them to eat when they weren't hungry or gather up items they had no real use for - all because they were free.
I notice it with clients as well, who have a great abundance of free robes or slippers or bath soaps from spas or fancy hotels. They could easily afford to purchase them if they needed them. These items have become clutter in their homes taking up valuable space for things they really love, yet there is frequently great difficulty letting go of a particular item because it was free. I don't have an explanation, so I've simply called it Freemania!
I had worked with one of my clients for an extended time. We had decluttered and brought a lovely level of peacefulness to her multi-level home, allowing her to thoroughly enjoy entertaining friends again. She half-jokingly commented that, "shopping was no longer any fun because if I want to maintain what I've created, then if I buy something I have to know where it will live in my house."
It's a thought I encourage you to think about if you are challenged with clutter. In addition to purchases, the next time you are at an event, a grocery store or other place handing out free material, it can be an opportunity to consciously discern whether this is something you actually want in your house. Does it satisfy a need you have or can it help support you in some way? Will it enhance how your home feels?
When working with clients I use a simple #1-#10 discrimination scale to assist in deciding what to bring into your home or life. I also use this scale in my own life. I'll ask myself, "Is this an 8, 9 or 10 to me? The #8-#10 items are those things that make you smile, make your heart go soft or clearly support you in some way. These #8-#10 items are the best of the best. Imagine how wonderful you, your home and your life could feel if you only surrounded yourself with the best of the best, the #8 - #10's. Play with this concept with yourself and family members. It can be life changing.